How to Become a Marine Biologist

or more properly, how to get a job working with marine fish and other animals

A real genius named Dr. Milton Love wrote another reason to be a marine biologist, it's here:

http://www.lovelab.id.ucsb.edu/biologist.html

So you are saying to yourself, "I want to be a marine biologist" huh? Or maybe you are wondering, how to become a marine biologist? I started this post because I get a lot of questions about it from college students and kids and dammit I'm getting tired of answering the same questions. Here's the dealio foo and this is my opinion and my opinion only so I don't want to hear any of your complaining later. Look I'm not a genius. I'm not the smartest marine biologist out there, I'm not the most talented, I'm no where near perfect, and no I don't think I'm better or more talented than you. But I'll tell you this, I've been in the field for sixteen years and counting, I know what's up and my colleagues generally agree with me on the principals of becomming a marine biologist. I will forewarn you that the grammar and spelling wont be right because I'm not running it thru a spellchecker, I'm speaking this from the old heart.

Marine biologists don't all work with dolphins. People automatically assume this. They say, wow you are a marine biologist? You work with dolphins right? No foo, there are all kinds of marine biologists. Some teach, some do research, some take care of fish, some take care of food, some build tanks, and yes some work with dolphins. But very few do and you know what? They make sheeyet. That's right, the last I heard dolphin trainers make very little money. You know why? Cuz it's a cool ass job. Everyone wants to do it and the powers that be know this so they pay you crap. So if you want to be rich and you are a dolphin trainer you'd better marry a plastic surgeon foo.

Therefore the easiest way to make me punch you and give you a bruise is ask me that question. Then I will punch you and give you a bruise and when it turns all nasty and purple I'll put my finger in it and make ding dong noises. Think I'm kidding? Ask my friends foo.

Now then, let us get back to my dissertation. I am an aquarist which further mystifies people. They say "hey you are a marine biologist? You must work with dolphins" After the bruise heals up they'll ask again, "just what do you do?" In which case I answer, I'm an aquarist. "Wow, that's great I'm a scorpio". Guess what you get another bruise. Boy, wait till I put my finger in both of those bruises ;).

Okay an aquarist isn't a astrological sign. It's a name for a person who generally collects and/or takes care of the fish/invertebrates, part of the living collection at a aquarium. Our job isn't very glamourous as you might think. Sure I get to do kick ass things like dive on scuba to collect sea horses or do bad ass dives in the oil rigs. Go fishing for baby rockfish. Go out to the natural habitats like mudflats, tidepools, etc to collect animals and plants.Feed the living collection at the aquarium. Take out our work boat on the ocean on calm, sunny days. And yes I do get paid for it. But that is only part of my job and it's a rare part at that.

We also have to clean dead fish and prep them to feed to other fish. Necropsy dead animals to figure out what killed them, they may be stinky and filled with parasites mind you. Some of them might be rotten with stuff coming out of them. We have to clean tanks every single day for a minimum of two hours. When pumps break down we have to climb down pits and get all greasy and dirty taking them apart. We have to clean out filters by putting our arms down in stinky goo and then getting fiberglass splinters in them. We have to sipon out fish poo thru tubes and sometimes that poo goes right in your mouth. We paint things, build things, build our own tanks and stands, design live animal fitration systems. We have to take the boat out in the worst conditions you can imagine, huge waves or swells and we might actually be diving in those conditions. And we might have to carry the dreaded pager that goes off in the middle of the night when the system malfunctions. No you don't get paid for this. We also have to deal with people, some of which aren't the brightest or the nicest.

Generally speaking aquarists make from about 20k a year to the upper 50's. My friends who are in business make about 75 to over a hundred thousand a year. They have big houses and fast cars and lots of cash. Marine biology doen't pay that great. But if you are smart and save up your money you can have cool toys too, I'm a firm believer in toys, ask my friends.

The other deterrant to being a marine biologist is that marine biologist field is flooded. Don't let anyone b.s. you, I can tell you a billion people I know who got marine bio degrees and ended up doing something else. It is very very hard to get a fun marine bio job. So I am going to give you a big headstart on how to get a job. And when you get that job the least you can do is buy me lunch.

How to get a job as a marine biologist

Step 1. Don't be a dick. Sounds easy right? WRONG. You will be amazed at how many people lose out on a cool job offer because they were arrogant. Don't ever ever come off like you are smarter or better at something than someone else. You might think you are gods gift to marine biologists, but you know what? Who freaking cares? You might be but guess what buddy. By being and arrogant dick you just lost out on any possible connection with me or my peers. A common blunder is to try to correct a staff member to show how superior your intelligence is.If you diss me or my coworkers, or worse yet the cool bosses then pretty much you just ended your chance on working with us.

A lot of biologists are well. Umm. Well how can I put this. A lot of them are geeks. Try not to be too geeky. If you see people rolling their eyes at you or getting annoyed you are being a geek. Think before you speak, my brother used to say its better to be thought of as stupid than to speak and remove all doubt. Stop playing dungeons and dragons on friday nights and throw away your yu-gi-oh cards and pretend you don't know things about pickachu. Don't interrupt conversations and cut people off.

Step 2. Go to college and major in biology. But do not major in marine biology. Why not you ask? Because if you get that degree and you dont get a job you are no longer marketable. Say you want to work at a zoo or do field research on tortoises. You have no skills for that anymore, people will assume that all you know is about fish since you are a marine biologist. So here's what you do. Get a degree in biology and specialize in marine biology. Your degree will be in biology, but you will have a ton of classes under your belt in marine biology so you can work anywhere. You've taken invert zoology, marine ecology, marine biology, oceanography, phycology, and ichthyology. You can now work in a ecology field and a marine biology field. In other words, you win twice brother and your degree does not pidgenhole you.

Step 3. Start volunteering as early as possible. But dont be a dick. And do a good job. One of the biggest failures of people who volunteer is they think automatically they will get a job when the opening arises. Remember I told you dont be a dick. When that opening comes up if you have annoyed people, you screwed up because you wouldve had a better chance had they not known how you really are. Try your hardest, come early or at least on time, don't fool around chit chatting all the time. Be friendly to everyone. Go out of your way to help people out. They will recognize this if you are true and when the position comes you will be the first one recommended. Overall, don't be lazy. If a staff member asks you to do something, do it and don't complaiin.

You will start out part time and then if you are lucky, move to full time. You may have to switch locations or states, so be open. One of my best friends wanted to be an aquarist and a position opened up in another state. I told them to take it, even though it wasn't what they wanted it was a stepping stone. One year later they gained more experience and another position opened up in a state they wanted to be in. Guess what, since they now had this experience, they ended up getting the position they dreamed of. You might have to move around, but you will end up in your happy place if you are smart.

Step 4. Learn how to build things. PVC piping, wood, fiberglass, glass, plastics, saws, drills, etc are a major part of our jobs. Depending on the size of the facility you might have a department to do stuff like that or you might do it yourself. You think the director wants to hear you whine about not being able to use a power drill or saw? No dummy, get some practice doing it in school or with your parents or by yourself. I took a special plastics class in college just to learn how to use plexiglass and other plastics, it was a big help on my road to becomming a marine biologist.

Also take scuba certficiation classes and do as many dives as you can. Be a great swimmer, and an even better diver. Get to know the local underwater flora and fauna. Dive in all kinds of conditions but be careful and try to dive with a buddy. I definitely don't recommend this but I've dove many times in zero visibility in really rough swells weather by myself and I've almost died from it. It was very stupid but now I relay the stories to my friends so they can learn from it and not be stupid too. Know your limitations, I am now a excellent diver and can dive in any conditions. When the time comes for you to interview spend time researching the place you want to work in. Have intelligent questions, the last question on the interview will be "is there something you want to add?". Noting something that they did in the exhibits is always a great way to show you are interested, as is having great questions of your own. Look around the aquarium you want to work at and see what they specialize in. Read up and be ready.

Step 5. Stay in the field that you want to be in, but you might have to start off in a different field. This doesn't always work but it worked for me and a few of my friends. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. So I started out part time in programs. That meant I ran the slide shows and touchtank and worked with the general public. It was a fun job but there was no way I could work my way up. So I went to outreach where I eventually ran the division and taught students marine biology offsite. It was a great job, I made tons of teacher connections and the program went from about eight thousand kids a year to over thirty three thousand when I left. But truth be told I was getting burned out and I also was way underpaid for the responsibility I incurred. So I switched to the aquarist division. That was a super long shot. I had no formal aquarist training, but I knew a lot about plastics, fish and collection methods. I started volunteering once a week to learn the systems at the aquarium and show that I could hack the aquarist job. I studied my ass off and read three big books on aquarium systems and building them. And when the time came I did well on the interview. I got lucky and now I'm in a dream setting. I make the same as I did when I ran outreach but its way less stressful. I wear shorts every day, have nice lunches and sometimes I surf or dive during my lunch period. My job is cool.

Anyways starting out in a different division and then switching has worked for some of my former staff members. They couldn't get into the aquarist field so they started out in education. They worked with us in outreach for a year and when the time came for a part time position in the aquarist division I recommended them for the position. And they got it. Once there was a guy that worked for me and he was a total dick. He was lazy, lied all the time about being late, and picked fights with my other instructors. An aquarist position came up and he wanted it and the director asked me about him. Guess who didn't get the position? Not only that but guess who got fired later on? Remember, not being a dick is a big part of job security, I can't stress this enough.

Okay you got all that? Let me first apologize to the parents and younger kids who might have stumbled across this on the internet. Sure I might be a bit harsh. Sure I used some swear words. I'm telling you this the way it is. I tried to be as down to earth as possible and to make it a bit funny at the same time. If you are a parent and are all protective of your kids and think I'm doing the wrong thing, most likely you are babying your kids and you are being unrealistic. Your kids are probably going to be annoying and get beat up a lot in school. I'm trying to do you a big favor and point them in the right direction I spent over an hour writing this to prepare them. You can chose to read this or not, I'm not forcing you to do so nor am I asking for your opinion on it. I'm not sugarcoating it so your dear child can be shielded to what the truth is. Make sure your kids are confident enough in their abilities to stand on their own two feet. Enroll them in martial arts classes (boys and girls), or sports, or some type of club so they can take care of themselves. Love them but set them free.

If you still don't like what I'm saying, step off foo. I'm not going to waste my time arguing with you, when your kid gets his/her marine bio degree and cant find a job don't say I didn't warn you.

Here's what aquariums generally want:

someone with a four year degree in natural sciences, biology or marine biology preferred

experince with working with hand and power tools, pvc saltwater piping, plastics

scuba certified with a lot of logged dives

in excellent health, able to lift at least fifty pounds

creative problem solver, work alone or in a team environment

at least an x amount of hours either as paid staff or volunteer as an aquarist

knowledge of the aquariums flora/fauna

knowledge of fish and invert collection methods

knowledge of salt water chemistry and filter systems

knowledge of curing or spotting fish diseases

Here's a list of aquariums in california, you will need to google them

Steinhart aquarium in san francisco

Aquarium of the bay, san francisco

monterey bay aquarium

avila beach aquarium

santa monica pier aquarium

the roundhouse at the manhattan beach pier

sea laboratory in redondo beach

cabrillo marine aquarium in san pedro

long beach aquarium of the pacific

the ocean institute in dana point

birch aquarium in la jolla

sea world in san diego

There are probably more facilities but that's all I can remember off the top of my head. Good luck future marine biologists!

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